pay it forward~

Through stealing a quick moment to peek at Lisa Wright's blog with the intriguing title of "pay it forward", I was led to this beautiful post at ~serendipity~: pay it forward~.

I decided, what better time to jump right in and play with others? Please leave a comment and repost the entry on your own blog to receive something (I have no idea what but will certainly think of something!) handmade by yours truly.

Have a wonderful day!

Reorganizing; Fixing a Perfect-Bound Book; Watercolor Journal with Beaded Spine

As mentioned, I turned my stuff upside down last week to put it back together in a new and pleasing way--then I've spent the last week looking for stuff I cleverly put somewhere new and now can't remember where it is.  I'm getting there though (the last ten percent of stuff is always the hardest!) and am very happy with the effort.

Of course I know I'll do this all again next January, but that's okay--it's a valuable reset for me and an excellent opportunity to think about what I want to focus on for at least the next six months (or rather, until the school year ends for the kids) and arrange my stuff in order to best facilitate that.  I get a chance to be reminded of supplies/tools I acquired during the year and to remember things I got longer ago and had forgotten, plus I look at things in new ways every January since I am still learning and discovering so much each year.

I am nearly done with my journal that I keep talking about here but haven't shown any pics of yet because it's just not quite finished.  Yesterday during my kids' taekwondo lesson I messed around with different ideas for the pockets, and I think I've come to some decisions.  Sometimes I feel so paralyzed with what is, I suppose, ultimately a lack of confidence.  I just want to be so sure before I cut anything, but I am learning that even the mistakes or things that just don't work out can always be used in some other fashion, and reminding myself of that helps break through the weight of inertia.

One other thing I started working on this week is fulfillment of an obligation to my son's school.  They contacted me back in October, saying that one of the Harry Potter books in their library had sections coming out of it, and did I think I could do anything about it?  I said I'd be happy to take a look at it but couldn't get to it until after the holidays.  Well, that time is here, so I hauled it out and examined it.  At first I was hopeful as it looked like the pages were sewn signatures, but I soon realized that unfortunately, what I was looking at was a perfect binding.  I got on the internet and confirmed that the HP hardbacks are just that.  Bummer.

Spine after pages had been separated
and most of the perfect binding glue removed

So I looked through all my books that I have on binding, and nearly all of them said to kiss it goodbye as there wasn't anything to be done to rebind a book originally done with perfect binding.  However . . . Manly Banister did offer one method to try, so I am giving it a go.  Basically, you clean up the spine of the pages, glue them together lightly again, then separate into sections and whipstitch them together.  If there's enough space left in the gutter then it might work.  I figure it's worth a shot since the school has no other options, and it's an interesting challenge.  So far I've cleaned up the spine and glued the pages back together in preparation for separating into sections.  Later this week I hope to separate into sections and punch holes for sewing, then on a long day, I'll settle in and do the whipstitching.  I should know by about halfway through if it's going to work--those Harry Potter books got big towards the end.

Spine after trimming off the ragged edges using my
Purple Cows guillotine, four pages at a time

Finally, today I found myself beset by the paralysis described earlier.  I need a journal with 140 lb. watercolor paper in it so I can finally get around to doing the Pam Carriker lessons from the Strathmore site (I don't think anywhere in town sells the Visual Journals, and I'm too cheap to order one online--plus I thought it would be nice to make my own).  At first I thought about doing the longstitched cover described in real life Journals by Gwen Diehn, but that just looked like too much work, and even after poking through my papers I still couldn't find ones I wanted to use for the covers.

A four-signature book made with Strathmore 400 Series
watercolor paper, 140 lb. (finished size 7.5x11")

So I ended up going with the multiple-signature binding described on pages 88-91 of Alisa Golden's Expressive Handmade Books.  I didn't even put a cover on it--the paper is so stiff that I decided it didn't need one, and it's just for me to play in anyway, not for show.  

(Forgot to mention the paper--yesterday I picked up on 40% off sale at Michael's a 12-sheet pad of Strathmore cold press watercolor, 400 series, 140 lb., 11x15".  I cut the sheets off the spiral binding and then trimmed with my guillotine before making 4 signatures of 3 pages each.  Before folding the signatures, I did turn the middle page of each the other way, so that every spread has the same side of the paper rather than one side being rough and the other smoother.)  

I did add some beads along the spine, just because I wanted to.  Very pleased with the result and looking forward to finally doing the lessons now that I have somewhere to glue my cut-out copies! 

 

Middle section of spine sewing with beads

Top section of spine sewing with beads

Semi-stalled but still doing things

My time has been very productively spent doing both arty things and practical things--still cleaning up the house and our stuff from the holidays, and reorganizing my supplies to better accommodate all the crap (excuse me, valuable materials!) I've acquired over the last year and to facilitate the things I want to focus on for the next few months . . . book-making and journaling.  So I haven't posted anything because I don't want to take the time to take pics, upload them, edit . . . next thing I know an hour's gone by that I really needed to be doing something else.  But I think this week should see the end of that and I can get back to a more regular schedule.

Part of my problem moving forwards is that I apparently haven't fully committed to a decision about how to  put in the pockets to hold the tags/slips of paper that I jot down my ideas on.  Do I use library pockets with an extra accordion fold to hold plenty of tags?  Or just a little envelope?  And what size tags do I want to use anyway?  I was thinking of making the holders/envelopes out of Graphic 45 paper--am I going to want to do something to more fully incorporate that paper in with the hand-painted papers I used for the book pages?  And if so, what is that going to be?  (I did get some Glimmer Screens and an enormous Tattered Angels dragonfly stamp today with my Archiver's coupons with the thought that might be part of the solution.)  

As you can see, there's plenty whirling around in my head at the moment.  I feel sure that within the next few days, I'll realize what the answer is and get it sorted.  And here I thought sewing the book was going to be the toughest part!

In the meantime, I have gone through all my supplies/materials and reorganized between my public space in the dining room and the overflow space in our utility room; made thank-you cards using my new sewing machine for our English family that we can all sign and send off this week (it's not too late as long as they arrive before the end of January, right??); installed Photoshop Elements 9; done some experimenting with the masks and various sprays that I have; continued to mess around with the 1st workshop of Pam Carriker's through Strathmore online; and generally felt that I am getting my life in order so that I am free to devote some hours to these pursuits without any guilt whatsoever.  It's all good here!

Creating a Booklet from Blog Entries

This morning I had high hopes for finishing my Book of Lists That Does Not Have Any Actual Lists, but I have a headache (it's cedar season here in Central Texas) and cannot bring myself to poke holes & sew things together.  Instead I have been having a very pleasant, relaxing time visiting others' blogs and seeing what everyone has been up to in the new year.

I haven't posted before now as my dad was here until just three days ago, and I also spent the days when the children went back to school rearranging the house for all our new stuff.  So that was two days spent on my daughter's room, and then a day and a half reorganizing my own play area.  I still have more to do, but the public area is mostly sorted now.

Yesterday I did (finally!) get the chance to indulge myself a bit and made great progress on the aforementioned book.  As per Gwen Diehn's suggestions in real life Journals, my book type is a Coptic-sewn book with an accordion spine.  Because I used 115 lb. acrylic paper (from a Daler-Rowney paper pad) for the pages, I needed something pretty stiff for the accordion, so I used watercolor paper.  The accordion had to be 34" long, so I had to join two pieces of paper together.  I can see it would be less noticeable with lighter paper, but I am all right with how it came out.  Very easy to do.  I sprayed the paper with Zia's custom sprays before scoring, folding, and attaching.  I also made the cover boards using artwork by Isabelle du Toit that was on a Merck calendar given to me by one of my aunties.  (I can't find any examples of the type of paintings included in the calendar to link to, so you'll have to wait until I finish the book and post pics to see!)  Very pleased with the outcome so far and looking forward to finishing it so I can show it . . .

Right, onto the stated subject of this post.  I hosted Christmas dinner this year (my cousin in town had a five-week-old baby--their 3rd daughter, oldest six and second daughter is 2-1/2, so it seemed only fair) for 11 adults and five children.

One of the things I love to do is a tradition of my husband's family--I assume it's an English thing and not just them but I suppose I don't really know.  Anyway, my lovely mother-in-law always has little table presents that she places at our spot, and we get to open them before tucking into the food.  She does it for Xmas Eve, Xmas, and Boxing Day meals, and they are always something like emery boards or a little hair clip.  Naturally, as is my wont, I like to be a little more extravagant than that, so my mom got an Ampersand assortment of panels, my son got a mini light saber with different crystals, etc.  For my cousin's wife, I thought it would be nice to bind her blog entries for 2010 (there were only six, but they were lengthy and full of information about their son, who turned 2 on New Year's Eve) into a pamphlet.

It turned out to be a little more involved than I thought, but I was thrilled with the results.  I found a free program for Word on the Mac that does all the work of paginating, and who knew?  Turns out my printer prints on both sides of the page.  I didn't know it could do that.  I don't even think I know how to make it do it now--the program did it all by itself.

So, that took care of the text block, but I needed a cover and didn't have much time.  I took a sheet of kromekote and stamped a sand castle on the front cover, then added some seashells on the back cover.  Using a lid and a permanent marker, I added a sun behind the castle.  Then I did an alcohol ink background, using colors to make it look like a beachscape:  caramel, terra cotta, and ginger for the sand; shell pink and butterscotch for the castle, sunshine yellow and sunset orange on the sun, and cloudy blue with sailboat blue for the sky.  The inside I scribbled to make it look like a little kid's drawing, and I added a sheet of tracing paper on the outside of the single signature to protect the paper from what I used to scribble with.  The end result was very serviceable, I think, although I'm sure not as nice as what Diane received from her children--but it was free and handmade, so hopefully there's something good to be said for that :-).

Last post for 2010, sneaking in under the wire

Tonight my son is spending the night at a friend's and my husband is playing a gig an hour away, so my daughter and I stayed home and painted papers (she helped me a little bit).

Last night I tried to settle and do something but was just not able to do that, so instead I made some notes in the new little Moleskines I got for Xmas, did my first read-through of my first Mary Oliver book of poetry, and looked through some of 1000 Artist Journal Pages.  While I read I made notes about many things and ended up having a great & fulfilling evening even though it wasn't what I had thought I was going to do at the beginning of it.

I got a great idea about keeping lists so that I can keep up with my life instead of it getting away from me.  I also think this will help keep my list-making side in check and not let it get out of hand so that I end up just feeling bad about the things that aren't getting crossed off my list--because this book won't have things to cross off!  Right now I don't want to say much more about it, but I hope to complete it within a week and will do a full post/explanation then.

Tonight in preparation for making the book, I painted pages from a Dale Rowney acrylic pad (115lb paper, canvas style on one side and smooth on the other) with Golden Acrylic paints--begain with Cerulean Blue Deep, then some Turquoise (Phthalo) followed by Cobalt Teal and finally Phthalo Green (Yellow Shade) mixed with Acrylic Glazing Liquid (AGL henceforth).  I moved the paint around with various items--brayer, my fingers (in gloves!), a palette knife, a paper towel, or a paintbrush.  Over all that I put a layer of Titan Buff mixed with AGL to tone everything down.  The pages aren't finished yet--I'll still add some circles and patterns, probably with acrylic ink in hopes of reducing the sticky page factor.

I would like to thank everyone who has been kind enough to leave a comment on my blog this year.  There are so many wonderful blogs and artists out there, and it's impossible to comment on everything, so I really appreciate the effort made when someone stopping by does leave a note.

Happy New Year to everyone!

The Year is Wrapping Up--Looking Ahead to 2011

Wow, finally some time to just be and reflect and plan for the upcoming year.  What an odd feeling not to have deadlines approaching!  One thing I do look forward to doing in January is reorganizing my art space--this will be the third year in a row I've done that.  I enjoy the process--it reminds of what I've got, which is always useful, and stimulates new ideas and combinations in my mind.  It's always a continual refining here in my space.

I do have some things on tap that should be invigorating.  For one, I aim to finish the pieces from Julie Prichard's and Chris Cozen's online class Complex Collage, which has been amazingly fun and useful.  I have also signed up for Julie's Super Nova Journaling classes, including the bookmaking intro, and I think those should be very helpful too.  Also along the journaling line, I am enrolled in the three Strathmore free online journaling classes, the first of which begins on Saturday with Pam Carriker.

As you can see, I am aiming right now at further exploration of myself and what I have to say as an artist.  That's something I find very difficult to slow down and figure out when there is always so much going on, so many wonderful projects and ideas out there in magazines and on blogs, that it's hard for me to find my way to knowing what is truly my expression, my view, my truth.  I hope that these various journaling approaches and classes will help nudge me a bit further along that path.

One thing that I am hugely excited about (my mother is appalled, frankly) is that for Christmas this year I got a sewing machine.  Never before in my life have I operated one before, but I'm learning now.  (Tip:  ALWAYS put that damn presser foot back down before starting up the machine again!)  I don't have any books to follow or project instructions next to me--and I am trying to avoid the temptation to get any.  This I would like to see if I can follow where it leads.

Intended to address Reverb10 prompts but sidetracked by reflections on self-discovery

It was interesting watching what happened to myself the last couple of weeks when all of a sudden life shot into high gear and I simply had no time to even to think about whatever I chose.  Instead, when I had time to think (like when I was washing up the dishes), I had to think about what needed doing as soon as I was done with the dishes.  It was crazy!  Things were like that for at least a solid week . . . and then my six-year-old daughter got her first ear infection, and now I've got her cold and am seriously hoping that having it now means I will be all better for Christmas Eve & Day (am cooking for 11 adults and 5 kids--should be fun).  If only my ears and throat just weren't so damn itchy!

A wine charm--part of a set I made earlier this year--
done on 1" square Stampbord pieces--I'm including
this because it's something I did this year, which ended up
being the subject today, and I don't like to post
without having an image!

One thing that has gradually been making itself clear to me over this last year is that I have to--and I can--let go and trust that I am doing what needs doing in the moment, and that I shouldn't force myself into doing things I'm not ready for--and that applies to things as mundane as going through the pile of papers that need filing and are shoved in 3 different drawers in a dresser in our closet.  Eventually, I am learning, the time will come around when I will be moved to sort through them, and then it will take only a couple of hours, whereas if I'd forced myself to do it when I wasn't in the mood, it would take me days and I'd be highly irritated with everyone while in the process.  This doesn't work for those things that simply can't wait (like researching schools for my eleven-year-old son, which also consumed a great deal of time doing the work, composing e-mails to his current school, setting up appointments with new schools, gathering necessary papers for the visits . . . you can see why I fell off the face of the blogging world for a little while), but most things truly are not in that category.

This has been a difficult process for me, and one that still presents challenges (part of me wants to berate myself for not doing the reverb10 prompts every day in spite of everything else that cropped up), but I have gotten much better.  I was the kind of kid who made a schedule for the time after school up to bedtime, and I hated it when my homework took less time than I'd allowed & messed up my schedule.  After graduating from UT-Austin, I was first a relational database developer and then a project manager at Dell--I was great at making schedules, following plans, making lists, and generally getting stuff done.  Once children came along, my world was definitely not the same!  I learned not to make lists anymore because it was too depressing and demoralizing to cross only one thing off after a weekend when I used to cross six or seven things off in a day, but I never really came to terms with how my approach to life had changed until quite recently.  I felt it was something done to me rather than a choice I'd made, and thus it wasn't something I embraced or accepted.

Reading so many different blogs and learning how all of you approach things, describe your outlook, and see the gentleness with which you treat yourselves has been humbling and amazingly powerful for me.  I am probably the most emotionally aware than I've been in years and years, and I certainly have the best self-image I've ever had, and it's wonderful to say that.

Right, I've nattered on a great deal now and not addressed any of the prompts.  I shall do that another time!

Whoosh! There went the last two weeks

Well, I was doing so well there with the reverb10 prompts, and then all of a sudden I didn't even have a chance to think in the privacy of my own head about whatever I wanted to--I had to think about the thing I had to do next.  And I very consciously make an effort not to overcommit myself too!  I shudder to think how things might be if I didn't do that.

2007 bookmark/gift tag for the PE coach

It was primarily the end of school for my kids that sucked up my time.  At my son's school the families give gift cards to the teachers at the holiday party, and ever since my first year there I felt that although that was absolutely the best gift to give, it was also rather impersonal and lacked any "wow factor".  So I volunteered that year to make bookmarks that also served as the gift tags attached to the cards.  I cut each one by hand, selected reproductions of vintage schoolbook covers that fit with each teacher's subject area, and fastened them on with eyelets.  That year there were only 12 . . . this year there were 47.

2007 bookmark/gift tag
for a kindergarten teacher

2007 bookmark/gift tag
for a humanities teacher

I made custom embellishments using fragments, punched out individual tags, wrote each teacher's name on the tag, made the envelope for the gift card from the signatures that families had left on a sheet of paper in the lobby (scanned it into Photoshop Elements & added a layer of generic winter scenes--we strive for multicultural rather than Christmas specifically), folded each one into an envelope, tied ribbon around it to keep it closed, then tied each tag onto the ribbon.  As you can imagine, if you made it through that entire sentence, it took me a while!

I could have had help if I'd gotten prepared a little earlier, but that's my own fault that I didn't, and honestly, I didn't mind.  I recognized that it was important to me, and when I thought of using fragments to make a decoration for each one, I had that inner feeling that nothing else was going to do, so I might as well just get on with it and enjoy the process.  And I did!  Unfortunately, I didn't even have time to take pictures of the finished products, so nothing to share visually from this year's gifts.

2007 bookmark/gift tag
for a science teacher

At the same time, I also had to make a double recipe of shepherd's pie to take (my son got put in charge of the food committee this year, so I felt obligted to contribute something more than my usual plastic utensils & paper plates).  Then there was finding our enormous crock-pot from the boxes in the garage so I could take it to my daughter's school for their party, and getting all our holiday cards ready for sending . . . I didn't even have a chance for a few days there to read my blog list, and I ALWAYS do that.

Things seem to have settled down now, although I have a cold my daughter so generously passed on to me (luckily she doesn't seem to have shared her ear infection too) and I am hosting Christmas dinner for 11 adults & six children.  I am looking forward both to blogging and making things again.  Yesterday I did have a very successful day making a present for a cousin who'll be here for Xmas . . . I'll post about that soon as well as revisit some of the reverb10 prompts I've missed.

Catching Up--Wonder, Letting Go, Make, Community

Right--falling behind with Reverb10 and realizing that as with other things, I am making my own barriers and standing in my own way.  Thinking about and addressing these issues doesn't have to take a couple of hours and at least 3 revisions before publishing.  Granted, that might produce a better entry for my readers! But I can't use that as an excuse not to step up & speak to the prompt in whatever way I am able to manage.

4 Dec prompt:  So, how did I cultivate a sense of wonder in my life this year?  Quite frankly, I didn't.  My focus was more on just getting by.  But if I am honest with myself, I could elevate that view a bit for next year.

I will say that I did learn as the year went on to appreciate things that I didn't before, and I learned from reading all the wonderful blogs out there that my creativity can express itself in many ways--in the food I prepare for my family and the appreciation I take in the physical effort of it as well as just taking notice of the smells and colors of the ingredients, in the things I share with my children and the laughter we create with each other, in anything and everything, really.

Also, in Susan Tuttle's book Digital Expressions, I learned that taking beautiful pictures of everyday things is within my reach--it's all in learning to really look at things, to see what I am looking at.  Same thing with making an attempt at sketching something.  The curve of a handle on a coffee mug is a lovely thing and full of beauty.  As the boy said in August Rush, beauty is all around us [he may have said music, but it's one and the same].

All right, how can I cultivate a sense of wonder in my life next year?  I don't think I want to place the pressure on myself to blog every day about something, or write in my journal every day.  Perhaps the thing to do is simply to make myself the promise to look for the wonder, to appreciate it in the smiles of my beautiful children, the pleasure when I play something well on my harp, the smile I get when the little wren hops into the middle of the wreath on my front door and checks it out.  I am surrounded by wonder.  But it is up to me to acknowledge it.

5 Dec prompt:  What or whom did I let go of this year?  A few things--some friendships that had run their course, the feeling that my goal is to get back to a physical body I had before I had two children and two miscarriages, and spending my free mental time replaying scenes from my marriage that I wish had gone differently.  I choose to think about other things now, because that wasn't accomplishing anything.  And I finally am aware that rather than going back to something that is gone, my job is to go forwards and find out what is here now.

6 Dec prompt:  What was the last thing I made?  The last thing I finished were some holiday cards.  Materials used included vintage postcard stickers from Hobby Lobby, papers I painted myself on acrylic paper, grungeboard, Distress Inks, Stickles, metal embellishments, Dresden scrap blue snowflakes, etc.  I am halfway through a journal from Julie Prichard's Art Journaling course on the Land of Lost Luggage network (Ning); I used folded notecards from Michael's for the pages, waxed linen thread for sewing the signatures, and for the spine I've used pleather that I've had around for some time, and the cover papers are Oriental-themed ones I got on my last trip to the in-laws in England.

7 Dec prompt:  Where did I discover community in 2010, and what community would I like to join in 2011?  I found community online, and the comments that have come in on my blog and what I read from others has touched my heart deeply.  I love sharing what I'm doing and hearing other's comments and critiques--sometimes the littlest word can send me off in a completely new direction.  And of course, to receive approbation from others is balm for my wounded, fragile creative female ego that is always seeking the approval of others (I am trying to not do that so much and learn to listen to myself and trust myself, at least creatively).  In terms of how to extend this into next year, I'd like to get organized enough to start submitting entries to magazine challenges and participate in a regular online challenge.

Thanks for reading this much.  All comments welcome!

A Moment

Couldn't post yesterday, could barely even think--ate something that disagreed with me completely.  So hard to do for kids as they needed (husband is away on a trip), but I got it done in the end.

This prompt, I find, is stopping me in my tracks.  Not an easy one, and it seems too much like cheating to pick something that happened just recently . . . but this just isn't how my mind generally works.

I will do something from a couple of months ago.  On a weekday morning after getting the kids to school (two different places), I went to the trails in the canyon down the street from us, but I went in from the Floral Park side rather than the side closer to us.  Much to my surprise (we've lived here over ten years now), I found extensive trails that I'd never known were there.  On my way in, I met one man coming out with his dog, but once inside the trees all was stillness and solitude.  There was no wind, no rustling--just a sense of waiting.  The sun was not yet high enough in the sky to have made it down into the canyon even though it was about 8:30 a.m., so there were not even any shadows yet, and while it wasn't dark, there was not yet Light.

As I briskly walked down the trails I passed cool grey ponds filled with nibbly little minnows, and I saw plenty of flowers waiting the sun.  At one point I came to a large rock, and I squeezed by until I could see that I could go no further.  The water rushed down a waterfall, the peace was nearly overwhelming.